Enemy of the Hair Beware
by Stardance
Summary: Just a spoof of HP...sorry I was on cough syrup at the time.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter books….okay so I own them I just can't claim that I wrote them, or developed any of the characters….they belong to J.K. Rowling…I've just borrowed them to act out the mad plot in my head.

WARNING: Just to let you know this idea came to me while I was drugged up on cough-syrup and listening to "silly songs with Larry" I also typed it during the stage too. It is set during Harry's second year but completely AU and OOC, now on to the show.

Harry stood in front of his mirror admiring the way his hair sat upon his head, he had that total wind blown/bed head going on and he loved it…his hair was his "secret" vanity. Giving one last satisfied glance he headed down to breakfast.

Harry sat down next to Ron and began to fill his plate with food. He was munching happily away when Hermione plopped down across from them. "Honestly, Harry you aught to cut your hair. It's getting in the way of your studying…you will never accomplish anything if you are always having to brush it out of your eyes," she griped at him. Harry sighed and rolled his eyes.

As the day progressed things just seemed to continue in the same vain. McGonagall accused Harry's hair as his reason for failing dismally in transfiguration that day. Then Wood told him to have it cut as well because it was interfering with his natural born seeking ability. Even the twins gave him hell about it. Then the howler he received from Mrs. Weasley about his hair really topped the cake off.

Loosing his patience Harry stood up on the table and announced "Enemies of the Hair beware. This is my hair, and I like it just the way it is. No one is to touch or comment on my hair ever again." Having finished he sat down and resumed eating. Ron turned to Harry and asked "what the bloody hell was that about?" "Language Ronald," came Hermione's voice.

Harry turned to Ron and explained, "Lately the women in my life have had this thing about my hair." "The women in your life?" asked Ron. "Yes Hermione, McGonagall, Wood, the twins and your mum. They were driving me crazy." "Well good on you mate," replied Ron. "And that is why you're my best-friend," said Harry loudly.

Ginny was listening intently to Harry's every word as plan blossomed in her head. Poor Ginny had been so embarrassed after that dismal Valentine's card….last time she would listen that bloody diary. A startling evil smile spread across her face the same smile she had worn we she burned the diary in the common room after that fiasco.

Ginny had to search long and hard for the spell and counter spell that would help her, she then had to revamp the spell so that only she could control it. Finally she put her plan into motion.

Harry awoke the next day with a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. Climbing out of his bed Harry stumbled to the shower and then proceeded to scream like a banshee when he realized his beautiful onyx hair was gone, well not completely gone, but instead arranged so that he resembled a well groomed young man. He tried every de-hexing charm he could find but none would work, enraged he ran to the great hall and demanded the help of his Professor's including Snape. Alas even the most famous wizard, Dumbeldore, could not de-hex him. Dumbeldore then dismissed Harry.

Harry was sulking back towards the Gryffindor tower, as he turned the corner in the hall he saw a message written in on the wall that gave him hope "Your hair will lie like that forever unless you acquiesce to my request. Meet me in your tower common room." Harry dashed to the fat lady and said the password dancing impatiently until she swung upon.

Harry dashed into the room his head swiveling about as he searched for the one responsible for horror he had suffered since the morning. "Hello, Harry," said Ginny, "I am glad you finally arrived. Now here is the deal Potter, I love you and you love your wild hair…so, in order to get it back to the way you like it you have to agree to be my boyfriend, and Harry there is permanent charm on your hair that I can turn off and on at will…if you ever decided to hurt me."

Harry stared at Ginny only a moment before agreeing to her demands. She smiled at him and the kissed him. The next morning she stood on the table and made an announcement. "Harry Potter is off limits, he is mine get that mine….his hair owns him and I own his hair, so there McNair."


End file.
